See Ya, 2019

Another year has come to an end, and a new one begins. 2019 proved to be very interesting for me. There were some big highs and even bigger lows. One of my best friends lost her father, and another one of my best friends lost her mother. This brings upon a reality that I'm not ready to face yet - that it could happen to me. Sure, it's a given that we will all die, and that a parent shouldn't outlive their children, so in my parents' wishes, they WILL die before me. But it is still not an easy fate to face. The death of my friends' parents has caused a lot of reflection and appreciation from me. Not to mention, loss of words, awkwardness, but endless offerings of hugs from me to my friends. I don't know how to react in certain situations, and for a girl of many words, who is often shushed, I tend to be very silent, or say the wrong things in times of tragedy. One thing that I told them, when I did find some words, was through thick and thin, we'll be together through every beginning and and every end. And this will always remain true. 

On another note, one of the year's highs was when Olive had puppies. What an experience! I was in the trenches with her for the whole delivery, and my family and I got to love on and raise nine baby goldendoodles until they were ready for their new homes. It was exhilarating, exhausting, and emotional. (Oh, and she's due again any minute now! Yes, I'm crazy.) 

Hooper saved the kitten, Cactus, off the side of the road in Cactus, TX, and brought her home. We had her wounds surgically repaired, and then she had to have surgery again a couple of days later. Unfortunately, she passed away a few moments after waking from surgery. But then came Tig. And we love Tig so much. During this time I got hives for the first time in my life. Too many ups and downs in a short period. 

We had our annual beach vacation, lots of family time, my annual girls' trip, and an abundance of love and laughter and support. I wrote my first novel, and am now working on the editing and revisions. That is one of my life's greatest successes, I would say. In December, I wrote a children's Christmas book that I'll start focusing on once I wrap things up with the novel. 

I also became unemployed in September and did a lot of soul searching. Circumstances weren't in my favor, and I had a lot of anger and sadness built up. I applied for numerous jobs and went on several really good interviews, and second interviews, and even third interviews. I felt confident that I was going to get hired by just about everywhere I interviewed, and felt defeated every time I got a call back stating they went with someone with more experience, or somebody who already worked within their business in another department. My interviewers were all very kind, and told me I shouldn't have a problem getting hired anywhere. But guess what? I did. And then, my big "Aha!" moment came. My mom had knee replacement surgery and I became the family caretaker. I took care of Fielder and Jude every weekday, and became my mom's driver while she recovered. So many times we said, "How would we be doing this if I had a job right now?" Then Eddie had back surgery, which gave me a whole new group of responsibilities, but I loved each one. I drove Mom around, drove Eddie around, kept the boys, took my niece to school, and picked her up occasionally. I picked up groceries, made numerous runs to the bank, and I'm pretty sure we gave Sonic their most successful two months of the year.  

Once I put together that me losing my job, not getting hired anywhere, and my family's need for me during that time was really none other than God's timing, things made a lot more sense, and I was able to let go of a lot of my anger. And then I started getting phone calls and messages and emails from several businesses- some of which I hadn't even applied. Within one week I was contacted by four potential jobs. And I hadn't applied anywhere in a while. But the most exciting one was the business that I really wanted to be a part of the most, from the beginning. I had an amazing meeting with the owner, and for fear of counting my chickens before they hatch, I will just say that if things go as planned, I will be on board with them soon. It's honestly my dream job. But I don't want to jinx it, so I'll save details for another blog post after it's a done deal. 

I'm happy to say goodbye to 2019 and welcome 2020. I want to close the door on some negativity, and hopefully start this year off with nothing but positive vibes. My New Year's resolution is simple: I want to be so consumed with being in love with my life that I don't have time for any negativity. So peace out, 2019. And welcome, 2020.